Write it out

I've been avoiding this blog like the plague. I've been in such a shitty space lately that I didn't want to poison this area with my negativity. But I started writing on 750words.com and I've dedicated that space to the mindless crap that my brain produces on a regular basis. Apparently, 750 words on a daily basis. That's a lot of crap.

Anyway, in an effort to be more social, I've decided to put my online profile back up. Back to the crazy world of online dating and seeing what comes from it. So far, nothing has come from it at all. I've been out on one date, about 10 months ago. It is fondly referred to as my Cemetery Date from Hell. So here's to more weird, awkward dates in the future.

Things I ALMOST did in the past few days

As I mentioned before, I've been in a sort of a... hole guarded by candy and dogs rut. It's not so bad, because I'm able to talk myself out of doing really stupid shit such as:

1. Sending an exboyfriend an email about how I've been thinking about him and hope he is doing well even though I know he is out of the country with his girlfriend that he probably lives with and is probably really happy and I need to find other ways to deal with being lost.

2. Calling the most recent exboyfriend to yell at him about he is the most unavailable man I've ever met and I'm just now realizing that he was unavailable and feel the need to share this knowledge because, really, I'm sure he doesn't know! But seriously, I read this article about the type of men to avoid (shut up) and it smacked me in the face! Knowledge! OMG! Don't date someone who doesn't want to share their life with you! Who knew?! Apparently, everyone in the world except me. I'm awesome.

3. Call best friend and cry. Wait, did that. Nevermind...

4. Eat only candy.

5. Said yes to a date with a male friend instead of speaking up and saying, "NO! Red flag! Don't date your friends you stupid, sorry excuse for a 29 year old!"

Good news! I only did one of those things on that list and managed to stop myself from completing the others. Although, there is a draft saved in my email and notes about the phone conversation (damnit) so I'm going to go delete the evidence that I'm a crazy person and resume trying to be a normal functioning human being.

...

I've spent the past two days doing nothing but stalking my own fantasy football profile and catching up on tv. I've watched all of season 7 of HIMYM and season 1 of Girls. I've also been prowling around on circus tumblr blogs and researching aerial silks in Pittsburgh. It's really been an eventful two days.

I really want to get back into an aerial class. It's something that I really enjoyed and it will keep me in shape. I can't seem to stick with running and yoga. Running makes me want to die and yoga is boring me lately. I need something new.

It's been a rough couple of months and I need to find something to be excited about again. I feel like I'm miles away from where I want to be and I don't have a clear path of where I'm going any longer. I have no doubt that I'll figure it out but I'm definitely starting to lose patience.

Overemployment?

So I signed on to two more jobs yesterday. A retail and a nannying position, this ought to keep me busy for awhile. I spent all of today going through an orientation and then online trainings at home. I may or may not have had a nap attack while doing one of the trainings. It was so long and my bed so comfy... But! I finished all the training for the retail position and half of the stuff for the nannying job. And after reading about child safety and drowning and car seats, I'm terrified to even look at a child, let alone care for it.

On an unrelated note, I went to Santa Land.

Things are just as weird as it seemed. Sadly, Kraynaks has really stepped up it's game since I last visited Santa Land. I remember reject toys and mannequins. Rumor has it though, there were old JC Penney mannequins present. I missed it! 

This guy drinks a lot of coffee, but does it with style. Look at that mug. 

And if you look off to the left corner of this atrocious photo, you will see a PONDEROSA! I almost crashed my car trying to take this photo. I was way too excited about the existence of this magical restaurant.