Write it out

I've been avoiding this blog like the plague. I've been in such a shitty space lately that I didn't want to poison this area with my negativity. But I started writing on 750words.com and I've dedicated that space to the mindless crap that my brain produces on a regular basis. Apparently, 750 words on a daily basis. That's a lot of crap.

Anyway, in an effort to be more social, I've decided to put my online profile back up. Back to the crazy world of online dating and seeing what comes from it. So far, nothing has come from it at all. I've been out on one date, about 10 months ago. It is fondly referred to as my Cemetery Date from Hell. So here's to more weird, awkward dates in the future.

Things I ALMOST did in the past few days

As I mentioned before, I've been in a sort of a... hole guarded by candy and dogs rut. It's not so bad, because I'm able to talk myself out of doing really stupid shit such as:

1. Sending an exboyfriend an email about how I've been thinking about him and hope he is doing well even though I know he is out of the country with his girlfriend that he probably lives with and is probably really happy and I need to find other ways to deal with being lost.

2. Calling the most recent exboyfriend to yell at him about he is the most unavailable man I've ever met and I'm just now realizing that he was unavailable and feel the need to share this knowledge because, really, I'm sure he doesn't know! But seriously, I read this article about the type of men to avoid (shut up) and it smacked me in the face! Knowledge! OMG! Don't date someone who doesn't want to share their life with you! Who knew?! Apparently, everyone in the world except me. I'm awesome.

3. Call best friend and cry. Wait, did that. Nevermind...

4. Eat only candy.

5. Said yes to a date with a male friend instead of speaking up and saying, "NO! Red flag! Don't date your friends you stupid, sorry excuse for a 29 year old!"

Good news! I only did one of those things on that list and managed to stop myself from completing the others. Although, there is a draft saved in my email and notes about the phone conversation (damnit) so I'm going to go delete the evidence that I'm a crazy person and resume trying to be a normal functioning human being.

...

I've spent the past two days doing nothing but stalking my own fantasy football profile and catching up on tv. I've watched all of season 7 of HIMYM and season 1 of Girls. I've also been prowling around on circus tumblr blogs and researching aerial silks in Pittsburgh. It's really been an eventful two days.

I really want to get back into an aerial class. It's something that I really enjoyed and it will keep me in shape. I can't seem to stick with running and yoga. Running makes me want to die and yoga is boring me lately. I need something new.

It's been a rough couple of months and I need to find something to be excited about again. I feel like I'm miles away from where I want to be and I don't have a clear path of where I'm going any longer. I have no doubt that I'll figure it out but I'm definitely starting to lose patience.

Overemployment?

So I signed on to two more jobs yesterday. A retail and a nannying position, this ought to keep me busy for awhile. I spent all of today going through an orientation and then online trainings at home. I may or may not have had a nap attack while doing one of the trainings. It was so long and my bed so comfy... But! I finished all the training for the retail position and half of the stuff for the nannying job. And after reading about child safety and drowning and car seats, I'm terrified to even look at a child, let alone care for it.

On an unrelated note, I went to Santa Land.

Things are just as weird as it seemed. Sadly, Kraynaks has really stepped up it's game since I last visited Santa Land. I remember reject toys and mannequins. Rumor has it though, there were old JC Penney mannequins present. I missed it! 

This guy drinks a lot of coffee, but does it with style. Look at that mug. 

And if you look off to the left corner of this atrocious photo, you will see a PONDEROSA! I almost crashed my car trying to take this photo. I was way too excited about the existence of this magical restaurant. 

And another

I went for an interview today for a retail position. I walked out of there thinking, "nailed it!" in a non-ironic way.

Also, heard back from another place where I interviewed last week. Maybe, if I play my cards right, I can juggle three jobs. Or maybe not. 

I'm still waiting to hear back from my school to see if I can complete my last two classes without actually being on campus. Normal schools have this new fangled option called 'Online Classes.' You may have heard of it before. My school has not. So I'm trying to convince them that I'm a responsible adult who can manage her education without having anyone directly accountable for me. That couldn't be further from the truth, but they don't need to know that. So I wrote my Dean a lovely email discussing my plans for completing the work without actually being in class and how I would email AND snail mail all of my work to her personally, should she request it. The jury is still out. 

Do Work!

I've scheduled two interviews for tomorrow! They're both part time positions and seem to be promising, so hopefully something pans out from them. I'm really enjoying my current position and would love to go to full time there, but until that happens, or in case it doesn't, I'm searching for more positions to supplement my income. This girl has bills to pay!

I finally headed into the city to see what it has to offer. I'm trying to have a better attitude about Pittsburgh, and it has somewhat pai off. I went to the Mattress Factory, brunch at the Porch, and then The Church Brew Works. All of which were cool.

Aren't my shoe covers awesome? I really thought they went with my outfit. 

I think this was my favorite. As we were walking through this old house with installations throughout, there were phrases throughout the entire building in really charming places. This one was on the side of a fire place/mantle. 

And lastly, The Church Brew Works. It was such a great space, I couldn't really get over it. The beer was pretty tasty as well. I couldn't get over the placement of the casks (?), the placement of church pews, and how the altar was still a beer lovers altar. It was great, I will definitely be back! 

 So, I'm not ready to leave Pittsburgh quite yet. I will give it a chance and try to hold my judgements. This isn't Boston and it isn't Chicago, nor will it ever be. It has its own character that I need to learn to appreciate. Maybe, someday, I will.

Whaaaa....?

Also, I want this for Christmas. Or my birthday. I'm a little obsessed.

Amish pugs

I spent all day Sunday watching Breaking Amish. AMAZING. This show completely solidifies my idea that everyone is crazy. No one is exempt, not even the Amish. So I'm watching the reunion special as we speak. I highly recommend it. 

I also highly recommend moseying on over to Bah Humpug. Pictures of pugs, drawings of pugs, in general, life with pugs. Love it! And so true.

Jabba agrees. And how can you not believe that face? Whatever, I'm so tired. 

I survived

My first week is over and I'm into week two. It's been rough. Waking up early isn't really my thing... Any time before noon isn't my thing - too bad I'm done with work and home by noon. Craziness.

In other news, my bangs are crooked and slowly slant to my right. Because my bangs are way more important than my new job and my messed up sleep schedule, right?

Also, I'm still in second in my fantasy football league. I cannot seem to break into the number one slot. Life is tough, guys. Crooked bangs and second place. Rough. I don't know how I'll make it. 

Early bird special

With the time change, comes an entire schedule change for me. No more late, late nights and sleeping until noon. I will have to start waking up around 3 to make it to work on time. I'm really excited to be working again and, hopefully, my body will adjust to a weird schedule.

I also cut my and colored my hair. See?

Much better. And back to my natural color. No more blonde and red shit. 

Also, I can't stop listening to this. 

Don't judge. 

Jobby, job, job!

So, I finally managed to commit to a job offer! It is only a part time position, but it will allow me to go back to school full time. I won't be moving out of my mother's home any time soon, but you can't win them all. Besides, I really want to go back to Boston. But, anyway, the job starts on Monday and I'll be working early, early mornings so I could probably pick up another part time position for the holidays to bank some more money into the "Kerry needs a job in Boston" fund.

In other news, there was a hurricane. Zelda and I were super prepared.

I also decided to break out the super ugly, never wear in public, my mum bought them for me slipper socks. They're all the rage, you're jealous. I know. 

And I'm prepping for Halloween here. I was forced into making treat bags for tomorrow evening. The older my mother gets, the more she is loving small children. She bought a shit ton of candy and a bunch of games and little toys and tattoos for the bags. She is in desperate need of a grandchild (brother, I'm looking at you). 

And you better believe that I stole a popper thing to shoot at the dogs. Unemployment leads to doing stupid shit for entertainment. 

I forgot to mention...

I'm pretty sure I saw bear road kill on my way into Butler yesterday. That is all.

The perks of returning home

The past week has been seriously busy. I've gone to more interviews than I can really remember and I've been offered three positions, none of which I have accepted. This totals four(?) jobs that I have turned down, yet still complain about being unemployed. Go figure. First world problems.

But, I have noticed some great perks to being back in my mom's house. First, and most important, I have an endless supply of tootsie rolls (an absolute must for me) and salt and vinegar chips. I never have to grocery shop, do laundry, or make my bed. She organized all of my drawers, for christ sake! The bathroom is always clean, the dishes are always done, and I have yet to have to make a single meal for myself. I am basking in the "I'm 30 and letting my mom take care of me" glory.

Now, don't get my wrong, I can't wait to get the hell out of here, have my own space again, and drink alone with my pups, but for now, I will accept the perks I have received.

On the job front, I have three interview this week. Two of them are complete and one is tomorrow. I'm really holding out for two specific positions. One is in my hometown and the other is in a hospital psych ward. These two really interest me and would allow me to go back to school to finish my Master's (without killing myself).

So, kids, in conclusion, unemployment has some unexpected perks. Naps. Need I say more?

Publishing my drafts

I've been sitting on this post for a few days now. I guess it's time I finally posted it.



My profession does not define me.

I have been telling myself this for weeks on end now. When I left my job in Boston and decided I would walk dogs for a living in Chicago, I felt this through my bones. I knew that statement was true, but it didn't matter, because I was loving the job. So, now, when I am faced with the option of finding temporary retail employment, do I find this to be not true? My job won't change who I am. It would be a source of income which would allow me to get out of the house, pay my bills, be a contributing (somewhat) member of society.

I need to find a job. I need to do something besides, read endless blog posts, dick around on buzzfeed, watch too much tv, stay up until 4am everyday, and knit. I need to find something more than this right now.

Not having a job has left me feeling so helpless and useless. I never thought my profession defined me but now I am questioning that to the fullest. Maybe I did let work define me, maybe it is part of who I am. 

Pugs and a run

The past few weeks have left me feeling depressed and hiding in bed for much of my days. This weekend I tried to get out and do a few little things to lift my spirits.

Those are my lovely pups, Jabba and Zelda. Zelda is quite the photogenic little girl. 

In an attempt to get myself moving again, I headed out for a run. I haven't run since May 2011 - 76 weeks to be exact. Here are my stats:

It wasn't so much a run as it was a walk interrupted with some slight jogging. I'm going to try again tomorrow. Running is the absolute worst feeling but I always feel great afterwards.

Which way?

Being out of work for over a month now has lead to me attempt to get creative with money and future plans. I have considered returning to school to finish my Master's. I have also considered returning to school for an NP in psych. I think I am at a point where if I don't find work soon, I will ultimately return for the NP and sink myself further in scholastic debt.

Other options I have considered are dog training, starting a dog walking company, and just heading out to Utah to work with Best Friends. Go big or go home, right? I have no direction at this point in time. All of these sound like fantastic ideas to me.

Not all of these are really good ideas, at all. Heading out to Utah? Probably not my best idea, but it would make for a great story, great experience, and one hell of a ride. Going back to school to finish my Master's? Probably the easiest, most cost efficient, and most logical thing for me to do. So, naturally, this is the last thing I want to do.

My brain is wired to find the most complicated, convoluted ways to do things.

sad internet girl

Three interviews, two doctor's appointments, and one job offer later... things are exactly the same as they were last week. I declined the job offer because I went on an interview for a job that I really, really want. So, in hopes of getting this job, I declined the marketing position. I've decided I want to stay in the mental health field.



Thats the garbage that spewed out of my head earlier in the week, but I never posted. I did, however, save it. Why? It's gold. Absolute gold.

I've spun from sick-o, bronchial, nightmare to okay, life is getting back on track and then back down to "I want to die, unemployment sucks, good thing I live with my mom because I can't pay rent right now." It's been a trip. But, no worries, I've scoured the internet, slept for roughly 12 hours per day, snuggled with the dogs, and picked my sorry ass up off the ground. I'm back, bitches! (I heard Sweet Dee's voice in my head).

So, on the job front, I have no new interviews (or second interviews) in the works at this time. I had two last week. One seemed incredible and I really want the position... and the other... well, it's a job. I'd take it. I'm not about to be picky. I'm looking into bartending positions. I have never bartended (tended bar?) in my life, but for some reason I feel like I would be good at it. I like to drink. I like to talk to people... It could work.

Whatever.

Sick

It seems as though unemployment has lead to sickness, or its the weather. Whatever. I made it to one interview so far this week but was so zoned out I'm not sure if I should be expecting a call from them or not. I'm going to assume not.

Keep your head up. I'm going back to bed.

Marathon interviewing

Today got off to a late start as I decided to sleep through two alarms and a phone call to confirm an interview. But, no worries, all went as planned. I had a phone interview this morning, which went well and lead to a second phone interview this afternoon. Throw in a face-to-face interview between the two phone calls, and you've got a busy schedule! Everything went really well today and I'm really hoping that the interview I went to today will pan out. It sounds like a fantastic position and would be really good experience. Luckily, I got a call back for a second interview for this position, which is tomorrow! YES!

Things are starting to look up.

Do it anyway

This is just super fantastic. Ben Folds Five AND Fraggle Rock?! Mind. Blown.

They're rolling in

My phone interview was rescheduled for tomorrow and I have another interview tomorrow, as well! Both positions are two that I am really interested in, especially the face-to-face interview. So cross your fingers and do your best "kerry needs a job" dance.

In other news, the internet is full of awesomeness today:

I'm in love with this. 

This is incredible. 

And..... I need to find a studio to get back into aerial silks. Anyone know a place near Pittsburgh?

Oh, yeah...

I also napped today with the pups. Rough day, I'm telling you. Life is hard.

Sales!

I went for an interview today for a sales position. Yeah, I know. I have zero sales experience and I really don't think I would do well in this type of position. Anyways, I show up to the interview and forget to bring a copy of my resume. I'm sitting in the lobby with three other candidates who are dressed to the nines and look like they are straight out of college. And, of course, they all remembered to bring a copy of their resumes. Oi. Fast forward to the actual interview. Some sample questions and my answers:

Where do you see yourself in three to five years? (Legitimate question.)
My answer?: I have no idea. I'm still trying to figure out what I want to do and where I fit in.

Do you see yourself as management material?
My answer?: No. I have management experience and I didn't feel like I was able to answer my staffs' questions.

The guy explains the position and the company then asks, "Does this sound like something you would be interested in pursuing?"
My answer?: Yeah, sure, why not?

I have to admit, it was the most candid I have ever been in an interview. I wasn't really invested in the position and didn't expect for them to contact me regarding a second interview. But, uh, yeah, they did. I have to call back tomorrow and respectfully decline. I don't think sales is for me.

The good news is that I have a phone interview tomorrow, a second interview for a therapy position next week, and another interview next week. Things are starting to pick up, so there is hope for me yet. One day, I will be employed again! Let's just hope it isn't sales. Or management.

Unique finds

In an effort to get out of the house, I let my mom drag to me a few yard sales and thrift stores. I typically love this stuff, but being unemployed, I've got to watch what I spend these days. However, I did find some great stuff (which I didn't buy).

 

I had to resist the temptation to buy this hat and run around town reenacting Mortal Kombat. 

And then there is this gem. A razor stuck in a stick. I couldn't put this down. I promised a friend I would pick him up a gift while out with my mom - had this not been $10(!) - it would have been his. Instead, I bought him Big League Chew.

The job hunt continues! I've sent out resumes to pharmaceutical companies in hopes they need someone who knows a thing or two about psych meds.

Interview! Yes!

I finally received a call for an interview! I drove an hour and half to southwestern Pennsylvania for this interview. I think it went well, I was told that I'm "entertaining" and would be great for the partial program! Score! The downside to this? There are no openings in the partial program. Nuts.


So, back to the job search.

I made it outside today

I finally made it outdoors today!

Meet Jabba - He's my second adoptee and one of the loves of my life. 

Hi. I'm Kerry. I finally went outside today with the pups. 

Tucker - one of my mom's dogs. He's an asshole.

The good news is that I have an interview tomorrow, wish me luck!  I'll be sure to post how everything turns out. Keep your fingers crossed and send out those good vibes into the universe!

Here's the story...

How did I end up becoming unemployed? Well... that's a funny story:

I was living in Boston, working, going to graduate school, fostering dogs, and taking care of my own two pups. I took a trip to Chicago to meet up with my brother and our friends from high school. While on this trip, my friend and I ended up confessing feelings for each other. Six weeks later, I'm quitting my job, packing up my apartment, fighting with my roommate, and driving to Chicago. Huge risk. Very impulsive. Totally something that I would do. As it turns out, guy friend and I couldn't live together. He hated the dogs and couldn't live with them and I couldn't live without them. Big fight ensues. Two days later, I'm packing up my car again and heading for Pittsburgh - to live with my mother. (and her three dogs).

So here I am, in Pittsburgh, with my mom, watching countless hours of tv, not sleeping, and completely surrounded by dogs. Oh yeah, and unemployed. And 6 credits short of my Master's degree. Damn.

Here we go.