On Nesting

I've been spending an incredible amount of time cleaning and organizing everything that I own. I really have never taken the time to do this before, at least not this quickly after a move. I usually leave everything half unpacked, throw out what I don't need, and then go buy everything I thought I didn't need but really did and threw it out. And everything sits in a corner and I dig through it daily. This has been my normal process. But, holy hell!, it's kind of nice to have everything organized. Like, I bought actual organizational containers to put shit in. Am I the last person to realize that these 1. exist, and 2. they're freaking cute! I have a designated space for my hair dryer and not 'just wherever the hell I leave it.' It's an actual space, next to the straightener and curling iron I don't use. They have spaces too. So grown up or I just have a lot of free time. I'm going to guess the free time.

On the move

Okay, so I've been avoiding posting here for awhile in order to get myself together. But, I'm slowly getting everything packed up and prepping the dogs because... I'M MOVING AGAIN! Of course I'm going back to Boston. I have to finish school and from there, who knows.

So I quit my job, I re-enrolled in school, and I have packed (mostly). Oh yeah, and I leave tomorrow. Unemployment has already begun again, but I have an interview on Tuesday so things may go smoother this time around.

I'll be back with more updates once I get myself moved into my new apartment and get the dogs situated.

Cognitive dissonance

Whenever I feel as though I've made a mistake, or done something I shouldn't have done, there is always this accompanying feeling of dissonance. It's a feeling I have trouble shaking; it seems to linger in the back on my mind, no matter how hard I try to push it away or convince myself it's not a big deal. Most likely, it's not a big deal, but there is a possibility that it could turn into something of a big deal, a problem, even.

My solution? Eat candy, watch Sex & the City, and smoke cigarettes. Tomorrow will be better.

Vagueness

As it tends to go, my situation has changed once again. After a mild freak out yesterday, I have a skeleton of a plan in place to move again. The wheels have been put into motion, as they say. So, I guess now it's just time to keep things moving and figure out a way to do this. If there is one thing I am good at, it is moving at the drop of a hat. So, it's time to harness that strange skill and put it to work again. Wish me luck!

Made it!

My birthday has come and gone, along with it came the flu. I'll return once I don't feel like dying.

The day has come...

I turn 30 tomorrow! Holy crap! When did that happen? More on this later, I'm so tired I need to get my butt into bed (at 6pm...)

Write it out

I've been avoiding this blog like the plague. I've been in such a shitty space lately that I didn't want to poison this area with my negativity. But I started writing on 750words.com and I've dedicated that space to the mindless crap that my brain produces on a regular basis. Apparently, 750 words on a daily basis. That's a lot of crap.

Anyway, in an effort to be more social, I've decided to put my online profile back up. Back to the crazy world of online dating and seeing what comes from it. So far, nothing has come from it at all. I've been out on one date, about 10 months ago. It is fondly referred to as my Cemetery Date from Hell. So here's to more weird, awkward dates in the future.

Things I ALMOST did in the past few days

As I mentioned before, I've been in a sort of a... hole guarded by candy and dogs rut. It's not so bad, because I'm able to talk myself out of doing really stupid shit such as:

1. Sending an exboyfriend an email about how I've been thinking about him and hope he is doing well even though I know he is out of the country with his girlfriend that he probably lives with and is probably really happy and I need to find other ways to deal with being lost.

2. Calling the most recent exboyfriend to yell at him about he is the most unavailable man I've ever met and I'm just now realizing that he was unavailable and feel the need to share this knowledge because, really, I'm sure he doesn't know! But seriously, I read this article about the type of men to avoid (shut up) and it smacked me in the face! Knowledge! OMG! Don't date someone who doesn't want to share their life with you! Who knew?! Apparently, everyone in the world except me. I'm awesome.

3. Call best friend and cry. Wait, did that. Nevermind...

4. Eat only candy.

5. Said yes to a date with a male friend instead of speaking up and saying, "NO! Red flag! Don't date your friends you stupid, sorry excuse for a 29 year old!"

Good news! I only did one of those things on that list and managed to stop myself from completing the others. Although, there is a draft saved in my email and notes about the phone conversation (damnit) so I'm going to go delete the evidence that I'm a crazy person and resume trying to be a normal functioning human being.

The perks of returning home

The past week has been seriously busy. I've gone to more interviews than I can really remember and I've been offered three positions, none of which I have accepted. This totals four(?) jobs that I have turned down, yet still complain about being unemployed. Go figure. First world problems.

But, I have noticed some great perks to being back in my mom's house. First, and most important, I have an endless supply of tootsie rolls (an absolute must for me) and salt and vinegar chips. I never have to grocery shop, do laundry, or make my bed. She organized all of my drawers, for christ sake! The bathroom is always clean, the dishes are always done, and I have yet to have to make a single meal for myself. I am basking in the "I'm 30 and letting my mom take care of me" glory.

Now, don't get my wrong, I can't wait to get the hell out of here, have my own space again, and drink alone with my pups, but for now, I will accept the perks I have received.

On the job front, I have three interview this week. Two of them are complete and one is tomorrow. I'm really holding out for two specific positions. One is in my hometown and the other is in a hospital psych ward. These two really interest me and would allow me to go back to school to finish my Master's (without killing myself).

So, kids, in conclusion, unemployment has some unexpected perks. Naps. Need I say more?